Tool Academy 2 Recap – Episode 2 – When Tools Cry

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This is what it looks like:

First, some random displays of toolishness:

(That’s a condom, of course.)

Frank felt the need to rename the already nicknamed tools. Though his eyes, there was:

Beast Tool…

…Tatted Tool…

…Redneck Tool…

…and Jock Tool. Does he really think that he gets to nickname them? Hello, the producers already got to that in the first episode. Duh.

Moving forward, after an incredibly heavy therapy session, in which half the class of guys explicitly confessed to their girlfriends that they are cheaters (a lot more on that in a second), the mood in the guys’ bunk was…

…celebratory. Eh? And there was more physical contact where those confessions came from…

…via wrestling, of course!

Then, in perhaps the most toolish display yet, Charm decided to take the wrestling seriously and get pissed at Tyler:

Charm’s ire came from the fact that…

“I’m a model and I’m not over here to let this dude break my face. This is all money right here. This is money. Money in the bank right there.”

Good thing he explained it. Otherwise, you really might not know.

There’s more toolishness, of course, but it’s all tied to the therapy, challenge and elimination. We’ll start, of course, with the therapy. Today’s lesson was on infidelity. Like last season, the guys were taped in a green room, when they still thought they were on a reality show that would celebrate their douchebaggery, not crucify them for it. There were “models” that these types would find “hot” in there with him tempting them. Whether they took the bait is what this challenge hinges on.

First up is:

Justin

The offense: He says that he calls Kathleen his girlfriend “if I have to,” labels her “convenient,” says she’s there for when he’s bored and adds:

Something tells me he doesn’t mean to say that she’s like Jordans on a Saturday.

The reaction: Well, there’s this:

And then she cried and then he cried…

“I just don’t want to be alone,” he said in the understatement of the season so far.

Dre P

The offense: None, really. When asked about his girlfriend, he kinda played it vague and cool until explaining, “You gotta have some significant.”

The reaction: Relief. Leah was expecting much worse.

Aren’t we all at this point?

Jon S

The offense: Some touching on a motorcycle, giving out his number (after pointing out that he doesn’t need to be intoxicated to do so)…

The reaction: Tracy chastised him for giving out his number. He got defensive and said it’s part of his personality, as though he has digits coming out of his pores. He admitted that flirting is a bad habit, but in a further offense…

…clearly has no real remorse since he worse this insensitive reference of a shirt in interview. Nice!

Stew

The offense: He gave out his room number, admitted to having a girlfriend “but it’s all right,” kissed a girl and then committed an even bigger crime against humanity:

Try, just try to wash that image out of your eyeballs/mind.

The reaction: The most violent one yet:

After her screaming tirade, he broke down, saying he’s been made fun of his whole life (for his name and red hair, no less!) and basically that he was reveling in his new-found attractiveness. Yeah, the red hair’s always an inherent plea for sympathy.

Terry

The offense: He referred to Nicole as a “speed bump”…

…and took a body shot…

…he also mentioned how his “speed bump” deviates from his usual type of blonde hair and nice body.

The reaction: Nicole cried, saying she’s insecure but she’s not his type. He cried back while explaining that he doesn’t have an Asian fetish (which is the finest accompaniment to tears I’ve seen on reality TV yet). “That’s better that she ain’t my type, ‘cause I wanna be with her. That’s the thing,” sobbed Terry awesomely.

Then we saw a montage of offenses and their gut-wrenching reactions. Among them were Charm’s wandering eyes…

…Frank’s “hands-on approach to making friends”…

…John L referring to Sarah as “miserable” and “bipolar,” Mike’s ass…

…and Tyler’s suggestion that he’s in an open relationship. But the most explosive revelation came via Dan, whose grab-ass…

…exposed Shannon’s insecurity over his fidelity, stemming back from a make-out session that happened a year ago. In reference to the woman previously known as his kissing partner, Dan admitted…

…”OK, I f***ed her,” which is probably exactly how you want to put it when you’re letting your girlfriend know about your infidelity on reality TV, so that way there’s no mystery left for the viewers. In a therapeutic post script, this elicited confessions of cheating from Dre P, Charm, Frank and Stew. It was seriously a wave of mutilation, and the reaction of which can best be summed up like this:

The tears spilled over into the challenge, in which the couples were asked to write and perform a cheer that covered the good and bad of their relationship.

Make that two other girls. Rah…rah?

It wasn’t all doom and gloom, though. Two things were worth the price of admission. One:

Two:

Oh, and Dan’s Seuss-like shoulder adornments were pretty damn special, as well:

In the end, Stew and Amanda won the competition…

They were rewarded with a “sexy” photo shoot…

…and they treated themselves to the conjugal visit…

And I believe that’s the first time any couple has ever gotten down like that in the history of Tool Academy. Usually the women aren’t in the mood. Go figure.

But that wasn’t the only first! In the end, Dan, Dre P and Jon S found themselves in the Bottom 3:

…but it was Jon S who was sent home for being utterly unengaged in the process.

His meeting with Tracy would be their last — he ended up dumping her!

But once she gets over the hit her ego took, she’ll probably realize that this was just a formality. So many of these girls end up going home with their non-rehabilitated tools. Tracy’s one of the lucky ones.