I know you don’t remember The Man with One Red Shoe , but just listen for a second.

In 1985, Hollywood released a film titled The Man With One Red Shoe. It stars Tom Hanks, it is rated PG, and most importantly it is available to watch instantly on Netflix. Now, I watched this whole movie, but I cannot stress this enough: you should not watch this whole movie. What you should watch, however, are 30 seconds from the opening credits because there is an impromptu foreign dock worker cocaine party.

First of all, yes, “cocaYEEN” IS how you say cocaine in any language that isn’t English. And, yes, EVERYBODY does cocaine. If cocaine appears, everyone will do cocaine as if they are Bedouin cocaine fiends at a cocaine oasis after they haven’t seen cocaine in a 100 miles.

But also, there is clearly someone in the background who is like, “Only do cocaine of this side of the Mercedes! Nobody do cocaine off the other side of the Mercedes.” And then their boss is like, “Everyone, stop doing cocaine off that Mercedes! You’re at work! You can’t just do cocaine at work. Haven’t you ever been to work before?”

Oh, how I miss the 80’s. I was a toddler and cocaine use was totally PG. What a decade.

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