Mad Men’s latest episode, “Souvenir”, was a sex-filled jaunt with and without consent, an episode fueled by lust and passion and inhibitions and Italy and hair and Don and Betty Draper’s second Honeymoon.

But because this blog likes to keep things “light” and “unrapey”, we’ll forget about that whole “Pete Campbell’s Arapian Nights” story line and focus on what really made the episode worth watching over and over again: Don and Betty’s trip to Rome.

Betty be all over town with a new man named Henry, the government adviser and silver fox second only to that ol’ cad Roger Sterling. He saves the reservoir at the City Council meeting, and Betty thanks him in the form of a lingering kiss. Because remember girls, “You don’t kiss boys. Boys kiss you.” She then does a little dance in the kitchen because the “reservoir” was “saved” (quotes denote sluttiness):

Well, now she’s gone and damn done it. There’s a reason why she has three kids, America, and that reason is “woman got needs”. So when Don tells her that he’s jetting off to Rome with the inventor of mustachio nuts, Connie Hilton, Betty, now motivated by stirrings down there and “guilt”, asks to come along.

Which is how we find ourselves in Rome, Italy. To fully enjoy the rest of this recap, please click play for the below song – Sophie Loren’s “Zoo Be Zoo Be Zoo.”

Roma! Ah, a city of divine smells and ancient history, a city packed to the brim with attractive Europeans and fashion and wine and amazing hair salons! No, really:

We find Betty sitting at a cafe with an entire challah hot glued to her forehead, as two genuine Italians — who, really, we refuse to believe were actors vs. men just in the shot — hit on this WASP-faced beauty.

And who knew that beneath that steely gaze of hers was an actual working brain? And one that speaks Italian no less. My, my, Betty, you do grow more intriguing each episode. As Betty is being verbally assaulted by our alternate-universe Silvio’s, Don Draper rolls off of a GQ Magazine cover and into a chair at the table next to Betty’s. It’s the ol’ “Pick-Up a Stranger, Wait That’s No Stranger, That’s My Wife” trick that we’ve seen no so many times before. And it works like a highly f**kable charm.

Because really, why talk about anything else that happened on the show, when these photos exist?

So yes, our uptight Betty seemed to have all the men globally striving to light her fire — literally, with a lighter. And after all of her hair beehiving, morning sexing, Don doing ways — to wit…

…we return back to their suffocating existence in New York’s Westchester.

The real question being: When will Betty’s reservoir get saved?

Finally, Sally still sucks.

What was your take on Mad Men’s sexiest episode this season? More importantly, how many of you sat through the encore last night? You can see a show recap and behind the scenes video over at AMCtv.com.

All of the above GIFs courtesy of oh so GIFted Oh No They Didn’t.

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